Bringing the Essentials

i will be living with 3 other girls this next year. i am so excited to meet them in person. my roommate lori, has been so helpful in the last several months. last week she emailed me a list of suggested things to bring: the essentials. at the top of the list were things that i would not be able to get easily in country: english books, deodorant, cookbooks, feminine products, shoes (if your feet are size 8 or bigger). wow....the things we take for granted! :) i also didn't think that i was considered to have big feet until now!

anyhow, i wish i could pack all the things that were essentials to my life right now......this little one being one of them. i think she might pass through security. :)

at this moment, i don't know how i'm going to do life without my support group, all my wonderful friends that i have been so blessed with. how great it would be to be able to pack all of the people in my life that take me through my days! i think God is asking me to trust Him in this! i'm a little scared...

Peace and Joy

i woke up again today with the overwhelming feeling of anxiety. realizing this, i knew that the best thing for me to do was to have some time of stillness. so, i did. of course, i still had to go to the appointments that were already scheduled for the day, but i was able to spend much of the day reading, journaling, praying, and playing with piper! yay! i also took a hike up to mt. rubidoux to get some time sitting at the foot of the cross (literally). there is a huge rock by the cross that i love to go to. it is my serene place that overlooks riverside. my day, which began with anxiety, ended up being a day of peace and joy!

Feeling/Mood for the Day

each day, in the last week, i have woken up to one or two feelings/moods that are overwhelming. today my overwhelming feelings are anxiousness and humbleness. anxious because there is still so much to do before i go, yet knowing that the best thing for me right now is to spend some time in stillness before God. humbled because i do things wrong so often, and God still chooses to love me, send me, and allow me to see His miracles!

On Learning Mandarin

a good friend of my sister's recently gave me a burned disk of "pimsleur's mandarin" so that i can refresh my mandarin. "pimsleur's mandarin" is a language study program.

it has been almost two decades since i have studied mandarin and through the years, my exposure to it has been very limited. my oral language is almost non-existent, not being able to form my own sentences. listening comprehension is stronger, but definitely needs work. i have spent much time in the last week learning and refreshing from this program. i am feeling confident that i will be able to pick up much of the language when i get fully immersed in it. here are a couple thoughts on pimsleur's program: 1) provides great instruction, scaffolding, and repetition 2) oral language is appropriate and applicable to travel and 3) may be tough for someone with no exposure to the language as the lessons progress rapidly (i guess it doesnt really matter because you can stop and replay if need be) and there is not much of an explanation of the different tones in the language which, i believe is crucial. overall, i think its a great program.

i'm wondering if pimsleur has other language programs and how they rate...

The Count Down is On!

in less than 3 weeks (hopefully), i will be on a plane to east asia. surprisingly, closing out the school year with my 3rd graders last month, didn't really finalize this deal for me. and though finishing up my role at sandals (my church) was tough, much of me still could not grasp the idea of leaving for a year. it was not until today, as i was on the phone endlessly cancelling my car insurance, terminating my cell phone, deferring my school loans, packing the first of my suitcases, packing up stuff to give to the salvation army, that the reality hit me. i am a great, big ball of mixed emotions: excited, anxious, fearful, sad, eager, joyful, nervous, humbled.

please pray for me as you think of me. i am still in the process of raising all of my support. i am trusting God to provide my entire expense and support needs within the next 3 weeks. this is a challenge, but i know that God has called me to east asia, and He's given me a real desire to be used in students' lives over there this coming year. somehow, i know if He's given me that desire to go, He will provide for my financial needs so that i can go.

thank you for sharing in this journey with me.

because He first loved me!

ALIVE

well, i thought it would be appropriate to begin my blogging experience with an explanation of why i chose "ALIVE" for the title of my page. several years ago, at my former church in LA (Mosaic), Kim McManus spoke on this topic. for many reasons, Kim's words that day really stuck with me. Kim referenced Luke 8: 40-56 and Ezekiel 37. i need to let Jesus come into the private places of my heart. whether it be my longings, my pains, my passions, my fears, or my desires. these are all part of the journey that God has me on. am i going to embrace it? or am i going to let it hinder all the life that God has for me?

in january, when i was looking forward into 2007, i was again reminded of this talk and for those of you who know me, you know that i am a goal-oriented, concrete person! i am the type that spends many hours on my new year's resolutions. so this year along with my new year's resolutions, i have a word for the year: ALIVE. this is what i want to be. this is what i aspire to be. to have some part of me that is different from the day to day routines, that enters into the presence of God. to no longer be asleep, but to let my faith allow God to breath life into me! what is important to me is that i seize the time that God is in my space and let Him have gentle access to anything He wants, believing that He can do something miraculous in my life too! (as He did in the story in Luke).

Blog world....here I come!

...maybe. i dont know if i can commit to blogging just yet, but am willing to try-in an attempt to keep friends and family up-to-date on my life this next year in east asia.