A Banana......or a Cream Puff!

yesterday, my teacher called me a banana - yellow on the outside, white on the inside. i was offended. no, i felt rejected by my own people. its ok for me to call myself a banana or a twinkie (its even ok for my friends to call me a banana), but i dont think i took it too well yesterday. i felt like she disregarded my asian background in that statement. "your thoughts are very western," she said.

after much thought, i have to agree with her. my thoughts and values that she is able to see or has seen, are very western. i thought much about why this bothered me, but at the end of it all, it comes down to my desire of wanting to be understood-to belong or be identified with something. the same reality holds when i'm in the states. i neither can identify completely with my "white" world, nor can i identify completely with my "yellow" community in monterey park. i am glad that i belong in the kingdom, and that that is my most important identity. i belong well!

also, why do people think asians are yellow. i am not yellow. i am tanned. i prefer to be compared to a.....hmmm....a cream puff! at least that is more of the tone of my skin color. there's this cream puff stand in the middle of the shopping center that always smells soooooo good. i am tempted to buy one, just because it smells so good. unfortunately, i am not a big fan of cream puffs.