i'm so excited, i just cant hide it...

this has been true of me for the last several weeks as i anticipated going back to the states. interesting though as i have had to say goodbye to people in the last week and many more this week (many will not be returning next year), this excitement has been extinguished a bit. i truly hate goodbyes and the sadness of it has clouded out some of my excitement.

it is hard to feel like home is in two places. southern california is home...i have family, close friends, i grew up there, i worked there, people speak english, etc. east asia is home...i have my own room and a great home with my roommates, i work here, i go to school here, i have a place i can call "mine", my friends are here, etc. going home this week to the states and planning my two months there with all my travels, i'm also feeling like a wanderer...i'm just visiting. i wont have a routine/schedule. i will be living out of my suitcase. each person that i see, every place that i visit will be different from when i left a year ago. eight of my very good friends had babies this year, including my sister. it will be different to see my friends as moms! i'm sad to have missed the beginning stages of motherhood with my friends.

i think i'm rambling here, but i can't seem to descibe my feelings at the current moment. i am still very excited to see everyone and just enjoy the california sun, but the added emotions and reflections this last week were totally unexpected.

just another one of life's interesting journeys!

Stuff Only

I'm Coming Home!

another wahoo!!! i have booked my flight home! in almost exactly a month i will be on US soil. that is a beautiful thought right now. i think my first stop is in-n-out, straight from the airport! i can't wait to reconnect and see everyone.

i will be home until the last week of august.

My Laptop is Back!

wahoo! after two and a half months in repair, i finally got my laptop back! it is a great feeling to be completely connected again!

Daughter of the King!

in february, i was at a conference and our main speaker spoke about three different types of family backgrounds. there are those that come from the healthy families, those that come from the performance driven families, and those that come from the dysfunctional families. this is not the type of talk that i usually enjoy sitting through, as i identify mostly with the latter of the three. i know i'm not alone, as only about 10% of people come from healthy families. but, what bothers me most is having to be categorized or put into this box. at the beginning of the conference, i was rather upset, feeling like categorizing myself discredited all of the change that He has done in my life. i really restled with it. anyway, i stuck it out and have learned much from it.

during the talk, the speaker shared about his adopted kids and how they identify with him and his wife as "mom" and "dad" and not their biological parents. that brought me great joy realizing that i also have an adopted family that i am a part of, His family. i am a daughter of the King! i obviously love my biological family much, but i have a healthy family that i can identify with and learn from. He has changed me and molded me to be more like Him in the last ten years. knowing that i would need much more convincing of His love for me and my identity in Him in that moment, He gave me tangible evidence of the fact that i truly am from the lineage of the King. we sang a chinese worship song after the talk and a line in the song was "King of Kings, Lord of Lords." the amazing part of this is that "King" translated into chinese is "王" which is my last name!!!! He created this moment in history just for me! i have a heavenly father that loves and adores me!

i was reminded of this moment today and thought i would share with you all! you, too, are loved and called by name!

The Count Down Begins....or Maybe Not!

last week was a tough week. i was homesick, work was rough, relationships were tough, computer issues drove me insane, life overseas was at best bearable. in so many ways, i was losing perspective. i began dreaming of home and the anticipation of coming home this summer kept me going. the count down began. 100 days! 99 days! 98 days! etc.

as i have prayed through this period, God has met me. a message that came up over and over last week was, "come. come to me..." so this week, in my weak attempts to "come", He has comforted, loved, and guided me.

i realized too, that the countdown was making things worst for me because i began to live in the future and not the present. the thought of going home began to make me ignore the importance of each day here and how God can use me now. so, i am letting that go. of course, this doesnt mean that i dont miss home nor am i pushing aside all feelings, but i have to continue to embrace life here too.

it also seems appropriate to announce here that i will be coming back for another year. i had decided several months ago, but have also wrestled through the process. i am confident that this is His best for me.

all that to say.....I WILL BE HOME THIS SUMMER FOR TWO MONTHS AND CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL!!!

I'm ALIVE!!!

hi blog world! i am alive! thanks for all those that sent emails, blog comments, and phone calls of concern. never did anticipate such a long time off of the blog world. things have been so crazy. after 4 weeks in thailand with little to no internet access, i came home to a problem with our connection! it was down for almost two weeks! then, as soon as the internet was fixed at home, my computer crashed!!! argh! needless to say, it has been completely frustrating. i appreciate the fact that you all have been faithful in checking in to see if i had updated! it has also been hard being so disconnected with my world, being that my outgoing phone access is also through my computer. i brought my computer into toshiba to repair under warranty this weekend and they estimated a 3 month repair time!!!! please pray that this is an over-estimation. for the time being, my roommate has graciously allowed me to use her computer when needed.

fyi, my phone number is still working, so please call. i just dont have access to outgoing calls without a computer.

i have so much to update you all on, but do not know where to start....

i think i'm gonna go blog reading first....

Will Update Soon!

hi friends....i am sooo sorry i have not updated in such a long time. i have been in thailand for the last week and a half and will be here for another three weeks or so. i have had a refreshing and encouraging time with friends from the states and hearing from some great speakers. this next week, i am in classes all week. the internet connection here is not so great, so posting is quite a pain.


sherry and i. thanks sherry for the encouragement and support! i enjoyed so much hanging with you! can't wait to see you again in the summer!



don & erin diva and i. you guys are the best! what a joy it was to hang out!

I Love Him....

even though i've never met him. no, people....i'm not talking about a man in my life as i'm sure some of you hoped when you read the title! haha!

my sister sent me some new pictures of my nephew, ethan, and i can't help but fall in love. its a crazy thing. i didnt think that was possible. i feel like i can relate now to those that say they are in love with vin diesel (wowsers!) or brad pitt having never met them! ok...thats stretching it a bit, but the thought did cross my mind. of course, i would rather be able to see and hold him in person, but i am thankful to see the wonderful development of ethan through pictures. he's got quite the personality. the other day my sister put him on the phone with my mom for about 20 minutes. he giggled and laughed the whole time as she talked to him! how precious is that!!!

auntie iris and ethan...

Yay for Snow!

my friend and i were just talking about snow the other day and how it has been really sad that we have had to endure the cold weather without snow! when we saw rain in the forecast, we all hoped for the possibility....and this is what i woke up to this morning.
(pictures taken from my bedroom window) i'm sure that as the day progresses it will become more beautiful. i was just really excited to see the first snow fall of the year! i will try to take better pictures when i leave the house later and post for you all to see. :)